Slowly learning to be more selfish

This year, after taking some time off to manage my life better (or more accurately manage it at all) , I have decided to focus a bit more on me.
The start came from a very unexpected and generous gesture from an anonymous friend…

Back in the spring, I was struggling to afford to fix my mountain bike. I had really screwed it up by ripping off my drivetrain. The $200 repair bill was too much to rescue my best inanimate friend from its bike shop prison.

My favourite bike shop wasn’t the issue. They have always taken such good care of me, and go the extra mile to save me money with my biking addiction.

The problem was cash flow, as is always the case with a single income and a large blended family.

I was avoiding calling the shop out of embarrassment. When, after 3 weeks, Jim from Experience Cycling called about my bike, I started to apologize for taking so long to pay. He stopped me mid sentence to say it had all been taken care of!?! A friend had gone into the shop and paid my bill! Mind blown…

It was like I had won the lottery! Except better. It wasn’t luck that got my bike out of the shop. It was a friend. A caring friend that knows me well enough to recognize how important mountain biking is for my sanity! I cried. Yes, it meant that much to me.

It has felt like a turning point in my life. I have been quite down over the past year, and here was a moment where a caring person was essentially paying to get me back onto my bike. Since that day, I haven’t gone more than a few days or nights without getting out for a ride.

I have been out at least twice a week for the last few months. I’ve lost over 20 pounds, and felt the fittest I’ve been in 5 or more years!

It does come with some guilt though. There are only so many hours in the day, and only so much energy I have to do all I need to do in the day. And this is what I thought I would blog about today, after over a year being on hiatus from blogging. I struggle with learning to be selfish, to say no, to accept criticism, to speak up, or to put myself higher on the priority list; for my own mental and physical health.

I also have to set priorities for my activities. Blogging has suffered. So has the time to sit down and read, go out with friends or have a date with my wife.

I think writing has a place in my busy life. I hope to be back soon with another post! šŸ™‚



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